Three questions which go deeper than we are comfortable going...gb
Who is it?
* Who am I? What am I? Why do I confuse myself?
The journey to God is multidimensional. It goes through the SS and encountering His revelation. It occurs in a fellowship of believers, shared life together--dependent on those who went before us, those with whom we walk and others around the globe. We cannot be Christian on our own terms and the authority of the church and our duty of obedience are in tension with our desire to trust our own minds and follow our own hearts.
The faith does not magically transform us into perfect beings, nor does it save us from the quirks of our own particular lives. It is this broken man/woman who encounters God. It is this person who remains unknown and in process who seeks God. The more we learn about ourselves the more we see how we are blind and deaf, how we misunderstand and misinterpret. How we hide the truth from others and ourselves. Who am I? A sinner needing redemption, a wounded child needing healing, a lonely soul needing connection, a unclean needing to be cleaned--the list goes on and on. It is all different angles on a creature needing the Creator's loving creation/salvation.
What do you think you're doing?
Much of life is partially lived. We are on auto-pilot or zombie mode. We are familiar with our daily tasks so we can do them while our minds wander. Years of practice make us proficient and being partially conscious and unfocused about everything. We 'say our prayers' but most of the time they are words. Even in fervent intensity we are not always clear exactly what we think is going on. Why do you pray? How do you know when you are actually praying? What is the purpose of prayer?
Have you lost your mind?
* nous Greek for mind, it is the way we see and interact with the world. In some sense, it is to what Myers Briggs or Enneagram 2 refer. The personality is the "lense" through which I see, experience a nd understand the world. It determines how I experience events. The Eastern Orthodox say that salvation includes the journey of the mind to the heart. Biblically these words--mind and heart--are not a contrast of intellectual to feeling; rather it is the false self returning to the core where we encounter "the image of God" and are reconciled to ourselves and to the God who reigns in our heart. SO it is a struggle with the Lies/Falsehoods and passions/wrong desires which dominate us (called the flesh, and includes the world and the devil as adversaries). With very, very, very rare exception--humans never get close to this. One theory of the afterlife is the painful process of having that salvation manifest in the reunion of mind to heart, heart to heart with God and others. Why painful? Because we resist the truth and we resist the healing. Fear, doubt, and being comfortable with the deception, even if we hate it, so we resist change. Jesus called it carrying a cross and dying to your self. Nothing unpleasant sounding about that, huh? Praise the Lord!
here are two sources for more information
** https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/
** https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/
Prayer is, at some level, one of ways that we learn to love God and neighbor and to receive love. It is shifting the focus of life unto TRUST. Prayer is vulnerability and self gift.
I was told to "say my prayers" and I was given numerous prayers to pray as a child. The Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be were foundational. There were many short prayers which we were also reminded could be prayed multiple times a day. I continue this practice today, especially with verses of psalms. A few examples. Lord, Jesus, have mercy on me! Into your hands I commit my spirit! Save me, Lord! Praise the Lord for He is good! There were also the formal prayers from our worship each Sunday. Yet, no one every explained to meet what prayer was.
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